Emotional Roller Coaster

This is how I have felt over the last 24 hours.
From getting the call yesterday that I should get to KC asap because Dad was not expected to make it, then running through the house trying to get everything packed while sobbing wondering if we would make it in time, feeling so torn about leaving the kids again, not having time to even pack my kids or the dog or do laundry or, or, or....and then there was the drive. Oh the drive was the longest 8 1/2 hours of our lives.  We felt just so helpless, so sad, so frustrated and mad all at the same time.  And then there was the wondering.  What would we find when we got there?
Walking up to the hospital room was so painful. Greg and I walked in silence, I hated that walk. I couldn't wait to see him but I was so scared he wouldn't respond to me or that he might never wake up.
When we finally got upstairs into his room he and Mom were sleeping.  We didn't want to wake him or Mom up but the nurse insisted....they had been waiting for us.  So I went over to Dad's bed and took his hand and he woke up to my voice...he then squeezed my hand and fell back asleep.  I thought even if that's all I get out of him for the rest of my life at least I got to say goodbye, at least I got here.
And then there was today.  Today was smooth, it was seamless actually....which is just so crazy. We feel such emotional whiplash. He has been peaceful, he got to sit up (while sedated), he and I had a few good moments together and he even squeezed my hand so hard I had to tell him to lighten up...he's such a strong guy even during this--that makes me happy, very happy.  He seems to be fighting and I am so proud of him.
We had a few reports from the Doctors today that were pretty encouraging:
His heart is strong, so strong in fact that the cardiologist said he wouldn't need to come back unless called...now thats a miracle!
He is holding his own blood pressure (103/55 as of right now), temperature is normal (not fighting an infection as of right now at least), and they have reduced his ventilator to 40% (just know that is good, yesterday he was at 70% and was fighting even the sedation!)
Now here's the not so good news, well lets face it it's not good news at all.
He has ARDS (Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome) This is not good at all, nurses say it happens a lot to people on ventilators.   They say it could be weeks before we see any improvement at all. Really GOD?? I was and am having a hard time with this today.  I just feel like this mountain is so high, so insurmountable, I need to exercise my faith I know, but today has been harder for me than I thought it would be.  I feel claustrophobic for him (he's covered in tubing, wires and is so swollen), my neck hurts (I'm so tense) and Greg and I have been having headaches everyday...I think we are more stressed than we think.  Today Greg was super tired, we both got a 2 hour nap and that really helped.
Anyways, I'm sorry I feel like I am venting a little too much but this is how I am feeling right now.  I feel out of steam.  I was able to get to the gym tonight and sweat out some stress and frustration but it didn't help as much as I thought it would.  I don't know....
I know alot of you have been asking how you can help and thank you for that, I guess something I can think of now is just to continue praying.  Pray for Dad and Mom of course, but also would you pray for Greg and I as we walk through this? (and the kids-they are both gonna process this in different ways and I hate to not be with them)

Why do I feel so guilty to ask for prayer for us????

We are so spent, I feel strong at times then the next minute I feel so defeated....we are all just so tired and all I want to do is take all the crap off of my Dad and break him out of here and take him home.  But when will that be?  I so want to wake up tomorrow and all of this be over....over meaning I want him home building a piece of furniture, I want him to finish his 63 split window Corvette, I want him flying a plane again, I want him to LIVE...really live.  Is that too much to ask God?  Sometimes as I stand over his bed I feel like all of those things seem so far away and I hate it...I hate this, I want my Dad back.